Most of our canoes (5 plus a kayak) have flotation devices. These are simply big tough air-bags which are designed to discourage the vessels from sinking like stones. This is particularly important when we are tripping on less-traveled rivers. While Jon becomes more and more completely relaxed, I am feverishly visualizing the stages that a body (mine) will go through after I drown. So the bags are a great comfort to me and are, besides, brightly coloured (so the search and rescue helicopter can locate my body). On a sunny day they are cozy to curl up to. Jewell even snoozed on them, although she had a tendency to toboggan off them in the rapids. Flotation: all good.
It is two weeks before Christmas and I caught myself thinking about this as we walked along today. The flotation devices I was passing were somewhat more frivolous in intent: most of them were Santas, complete with interior lights and bouncing with seasonal excitement. For several years I have been planning an entrepreneurial coup inspired by these hot-air gentlemen. Now if I tell you, you must promise not to steal my thunder or hot air.......
To appreciate the brilliance of this concept you have to think like a pre-Christmas woman. I know you can do this. Now review the lists you are working from:
Christmas gift thinking/finding/hauling/wrapping/carding/delivering;
Christmas cards writing/sending/reading;
Special people meeting/phoning/emailing/entertaining;
Christmas decorations unboxing/untangling/arranging/dangling;
Christmas food deciding/shopping/hauling/storing/baking/cooking/table-setting/serving/cleaning up.
And, of course, there is the
Christmas house cleaning/paring/ dusting/polishing. Anyway, that's the short-list.
So here's my idea:
an inflatable wife/mother/sister/daughter/professional! But unlike Santa, she will fully inflate only in the mornings, and will gradually lose air throughout each day. After Christmas morning, she simply remains collapsed on the grass. Isn't that a money-maker?
What do you think?